Comfort Zones

Till now, i can't get out of my shell, im used to see things as they are and i expect them to last. i hate letting go, if i can freeze time just to let things stay that way i would. but i can't. deep inside i weep with those little changes everywhere, damn, i even wept when gabby and sharon divorced. i just want everybody to be it, in a status quo.


I want to be a kid again, no worries of society's rotting state. the only pain you might suffer is tootache. While every kid wants to grow up, i'm going the other way. Adulthood s*cks. But as they say, that's the beauty of life, without pain is like Joey de Leon without Rene Requiestas.


I wanted to break away from life but im too afraid to even try it, I'm like Nicholas Cage in "the weatherman" thinking about killing himself but is afraid to try it as he's thinking as to who will clean the rug of his splattered brain. I'm not into being suicidal, i just want something new to happen but i can't let go. I want to transfer to a new house, but im afraid to as it might be far from my work. I want another kid, but i don't have a wife. I've been wanting to get another one, but i might end up in prison. what in the world would i do?


Status quo - just stay alive might be my only purpose. For my kid to at least have a 'father' to bring her to the altar once she decides to marry? To be a grandfather to her lovely kids? Are these the answers to my questions? Is this what im really comfortable with? Will i die a fulfilled man with it?


Patience...